The art of holding space...

I grew up in a family that wasn’t able to hold space for me when I was having difficult emotions like sadness, anger or lonelyness.

I was alone with all my emotions, and I didn’t know what to do with them.

And as a highly sensitive kid and empath, I was feeling a lot more than “normal” kids.

Without knowing, I was feeling not only my own emotions but also those of the people around me.

This was really confusing.

I wasn't able to process all those emotions and accumulated them in my "emotional backbag".

In my 30ies I started therapy and unpacked them one at a time.

With someone holding space for me, I could open up and release them.

"Holding space" means offering a space to someone to allow to express themselves openly and authentically.

I highly recommend learning the art of holding space, because it can help you in your relationships with your partner, your kids, friends and co-workers.

The key aspects of holding space are:

💜 Presence: Being fully present without distractions, actively listening, and giving your complete attention to the person you are supporting

💙 Non-Judgment: Creating a safe and accepting environment where individuals feel free to share their thoughts, feelings, and experiences without fear of criticism.

💚 Empathy: Understanding and acknowledging the emotions and perspectives of others, even if they differ from your own.

💗 Openness: Allowing for vulnerability and authenticity in the space, encouraging individuals to express themselves without reservation.

💛 Respect: Recognizing the autonomy of others and respecting their unique journeys and experiences.

💕 Compassion: Demonstrating kindness and compassion toward those you are supporting, especially during challenging or emotional moments.

Holding space does not involve providing solutions or advice.

Instead, it focuses on creating a supportive environment where individuals can explore their thoughts and feelings, facilitating their own process of self-discovery and healing.

As a coach and therapist, holding space has become second nature.

It is like a warm hug that helps my clients to open up, feel seen, accepted, welcome and loved.

I believe, the more we create supportive environments for each other, the more we can process what we are going through and show up authentically.

My suggestion for you is to observe yourself:

▶ Are you present, without judgement, open, respectful, compassionate and putting yourself in other people’s shoes?

▶ When you manage to hold space, how do things unfold?

▶ What can you do to improve your ability to hold space?

Let me know, how it goes in the comments below!

What's your experience with holding space?